Embracing Pandora’s Box: Women’s desire continues to trouble the world. Let’s change that.

In The Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan argued that American women suffered from a malaise she called "the problem that had no name." Her critique of domestic ennui helped launch the second-wave feminist movement of the 1960s, leading to many of the advances women now take for granted. But not everything has changed. So we asked women to answer this question: If you had to pinpoint today's problem that had no name, what would it be? Read the other responses here.

I never read The Feminine Mystique. I know Betty Friedan changed a lot of women's lives, because whenever I was with her women would interrupt us to tell her she had changed their lives. But the ennui described in The Feminist Mystique-educated middle-class women trapped in the homemaker role, wondering if there was more to life-was outside the realm of my experience.

In 1963, I was entering the real world, emerging from a working-class Catholic girlhood, including a year in the convent at the age of 19. My early education with the sisters was filled with holy cards depicting medieval nuns. These women had defied parents and suitors and entered convents to be free of male control and the burdens of reproduction. In my view, they lived the life of the mind. Compared to my mother's life-four children, two failed marriages with men who abandoned her, followed by the 11 p.m.-to-7 a.m. shift as a telephone operator in the late '50s-religious life appeared to promise both freedom and security.

But the problem, I came to see through my own experience, was that for women in the convent, as in the world, the act of seeking freedom is suspect. You are not secure, you are vulnerable. You either accept this or you go crazy.

Take the women on those holy cards. The church said give up sex and we will give you some freedom. They escaped marriage, but ended up tortured by patriarchy's need to subdue their drive for freedom. History indicates it was a bad bargain. If they were the Joan of Arc type, they got burned at the stake. Mystics like St. Teresa of Avila had imaginary love affairs with Jesus, but beat themselves and committed "holy anorexia" by inducing vomiting (in her case using olive tree twigs). St. Catherine of Siena, a 14th century nun, philosopher, and diplomat, actively engaged in brokering the return of the Avignon pope to Rome, only to end her life by starving herself to death out of love for her heavenly bridegroom Christ.

Things have changed a bit since I was regaled in high school with stories of St. Maria Goretti, the teenage Italian girl who fought off her rapists to save her virginity for God and died from multiple stab wounds. But Catholicism still makes saints out of women who deny their bodies and sacrifice their lives obeying church rules. In 1994, Elizabetta Canori Mora was beatified by John Paul II. What made her worthy for consideration as a saint? She stayed married to her husband in spite of the fact that he beat her and abandoned her. In 2004, Gianna Beretta Molla refused to have an abortion while pregnant so that her fourth child could be born, only to die of cancer one week after her daughter's birth. These are the examples of good women the Vatican presents to young girls: We can't all be virgins and mothers like Mary but we can be strong enough to sacrifice our lives as these women did.

And some women have it even worse. In the Muslim world, they are not even offered the option. Their lives are simply taken from them by fathers, brothers, husbands, and governments when they demonstrate any form of independent thought. They are stoned, beaten, burned, blinded, and otherwise destroyed by the rage men still feel when women take the least control of their lives.

Frances Kissling , former president of Catholics for Choice, describes her vocation as being sure the Pope does not have a nice day. She is currently a visiting scholar at the Center for Bioethics at UPenn.

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Embracing Pandora’s Box