Can a book teach you to be a man?

I knew, I reasoned, how to be a man. I had been one for quite some time—about a quarter-century, give or take. I tied ties, mixed drinks, held doors, said "please" and "thank you" when the situation warranted. I watched Mad Men for extra credit. Case closed—right?

Right—until I stumbled on Michael Chabon's Manhood for Amateurs, the Pulitzer winner's forthcoming book of essays. The title says it all; could I be, unwittingly, a neophyte? And suddenly everywhere I looked, a manly peanut gallery offered its advice. By the register at J.Crew, on a seasonal cardigan errand, I noticed a stockpile of slim paperbacks that promised to make a man of me. The self-help section at Barnes & Noble—a wrong turn on the way to Wine/Wino Interest—offered masculinity … for Dummies, for Idiots, and for Women (by straight men, by gay men, even by other women). I sat down with a library's worth of guidebooks on the fickle subject of manhood and its laws. My very foundations rocked. Were my tie knots the right tie knots? Were my drinks the right drinks—properly shaken, or was it stirred?

The manhood movement lacks the single clarion voice of an Emily Post or Miss Manners. There is no Mr. Manners. But is there a single, reliable guide—the sort for occasional, surreptitious reference checks?

Read more in Slate.

Tags: 100 Skills Every Guy Should Know, how to be a gentleman, letters of lord chesterfield, mad men, manhood for amateurs, michael chabon, Popular Mechanics, the esquire handbook of style, what a man should know

Matthew Schneier is a writer, editor, and gentleman in New York.

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