Life
Friend or Foe: When Your BFF Goes MIA
Our columnist wonders, is it possible to stay tight with out-of-towners?
Your friend acted like an insensitive nincompoop. Does her faux pas merit dumping? That depends on whether she makes a habit of issuing food-fight-worthy judgments from above. If she continues to inspire chick pea flinging, you might want to consider putting Miss Foot-In-Mouth Disease out to pasture. But if this was a one-time slip-up—and we all make them—wait until you see each other in person and, assuming the comment is still irking you, tell her you feel hurt.
Your lady friend is clearly going through a crap time and is probably taking it out on everyone and everything. Try to keep that in mind as you lob charges. Let her know that she’s perfectly entitled to find donor egg reproduction unethical. She’s just not perfectly entitled to share it with you, someone who is about to go down this route. Confronted with her blunder, she’ll likely be mortified. If she stutters out an apology, accept it and move on.
Sincerely,
Friend or Foe
Dear Friend or Foe,
An out-of town-friend, “Dora,” stayed with me while she was here, and I’m 99 percent sure she swiped a significant amount of my Crème de la Mer. Should I say something? I paid 130 frigging bucks for an ounce of the stuff!! Plus, Dora is beautiful, wrinkle-free, and rich—and I’m so not any of the above.
Sincerely,
Cranky About Cream
Dear CAC,
Moisturizer thieves are almost as bad as house guests who pour out the last glass of Tropicana before you’ve even risen for breakfast. On the 1 percent chance that the dog ate it, I’d let it go. Just make sure that the next time Winona ... er, Dora is in town, she doesn’t stay with you. Also, if she’s Miss Richie Rich, why isn’t she staying in a hotel? And speaking of wealth management, you imply that you’re far from loaded yourself. Why, then, are you throwing your hard-won cash at sea kelp? Do you have any scientific evidence that the application of said stuff to your cheeks and forehead is any more or less effective in warding off the ravages of time than, say, bird droppings? I know Kate Moss swears by Crème de la Mer. But Kate Moss could have a lettuce farm growing on her face, and she’d still be drop-dead. “Friend or Foe” suggests a trip to your local drugstore, where you’ll find a wide array of crone-condemning creams for less than 20 dollars.
Sincerely,
Friend or Foe
Have a question for Friend or Foe? Please email it to lucinda@imsohappyforyou.com
SNL: Equal Opportunity Objectifiers
Jon Hamm spent most of the Saturday Night Live episode he hosted last night shirtless.
Confessions of a Woman Comedy Writer
Allison Silverman accepts one from New York Women in Film & Television (and tells us why it's rare).
Comments
I can relate to Greta's side
By: Shelley | Mon, 06/29/2009 - 19:38
"Greta and Me—Plus Eight I Don’t Want to See:"
Here is my take as the "out of town best friend." I don't mean the specific one mentioned here (although coincidental is that I just moved FROM miami! haha). I digress. I will be going home, finally, for Thanksgiving, for the first time in about a year. There are a lot of people there who I consider VERY close friends. If you want to use the title, BFF, then use it. The thing with "best friends" is I find it too hard to keep up with that title and the expectations that come with it. I have friends I consider more like family and friends who I consider to be very near and dear to me.
Can you already see the dilema I am sure your friend is in? Im not saying she doesn't consider you A best friend, or THE best friend, but put yourself in her (our) shoes for a minute. Coming home after a long absence is tough. You want to see everyone, and then on top of that you have the reason for your visit AND obligations, and you want to spend a lot of time with family. I see her inviting everyone out as a big lets go as her way of accomplishing everything. She gets to see you and a lot of her other dear friends who she probably misses, a lot.
I have to be honest. While I can understand your disappointment about not being the shining star of the trip, I find it a bit selfish. And for you to consider not to go, even if you KNOW it'll be fun, makes you seem that much MORE selfish. If you really want to see her, you'll let your own needs go and understand she's trying to do best by EVERYONE. If you want solo time, then contact her. Remember, this isn't high school. Don't sit in the corner and sulk and assume the worst before you actually speak to her! Thats a bit unfair, don't ya think? Remember, just because YOU don't want to "see the other eight" doesn't mean Greta shouldn't have the opportunity to. If her time is short while she is there, she's just trying to make everyone happy. Be a good friend and understand that.
Oh Wow these answers sit much
By: jennies1897 | Mon, 06/29/2009 - 15:28
Oh Wow these answers sit much better with me than the last few postings in here. I cringed a bit before I clicked, but did so anyway.
With the woman who is looking to increase her fertility...it does kind of sound to me like it came up once, she cautiously approached the subject, afraid of how her offerring would be taken. It's difficult when a friend is offended by your personal choice. I'm glad that was at least brushed on - your friends don't necessarily have the same ethics you do.
Thieving guests...ugh, it's hardly worth even approaching. Especially when it comes down to cold cream, even expensive cold cream. I always take my best stuff and put it away before company's around. I learned this hanging out with college folk. They don't see anything wrong with "borrowing" a bit, but don't understand the concept of needing to continually replenish.
I'm so glad to see some MUCH better answers here than the past couple of weeks. I was really starting to think I wasn't much of a woman if I can't even remotely relate...