-
- |
-
- |
- |
- 9
John Lennon once wrote a song called "(Just Like) Starting Over," because he believed that is what falling in love felt like. But that "just like" always stops me. It must mean love is almost a fresh start but not quite. Getting takeout from the place down the block, listening to your favorite record, confessing about the time you saw your mom get way too drunk—people go through these motions with every new person they date, "starting over" again and again. And they feel the same—and not the same—each time. It's something like Nietzsche's "eternal return," minus that numbing, alienating sensation. More like a light-headed, déjà-vu.
I have been thinking about all of this lately because I am getting married this fall to someone who's just as crazy about music as I am, and I have to choose a song for my first dance with my future husband. (I hate the word "fiancé." So I go with "future husband," which sounds amusingly sci-fi. He's a husband ... from the future!) And even though I pretend to scroll through iTunes, I already have my heart set on the perfect song, Yo La Tengo's "The Last Days of Disco." Every time I hear it, it reminds me of my future husband. There is just one problem. It used to remind me of someone else.
"The Last Days of Disco" may be the most romantic song ever written—if the idea of two kids slow dancing to disco hits doesn't make you queasy. Written nine years ago by a real-life married couple, guitarist Ira Kaplan and drummer Georgia Hubley (along with their bassist friend James McNew), it is a love song about the power of love songs. As a former music critic and longtime songwriter, Kaplan knows his way around the subject: Blanketed in atmospheric guitars and hushed, brushed drums, it is the ultimate indie-rock ballad, with a Boy Meets Girl story that unfolds shyly. Boy sees Girl at party. Girl asks Boy to dance. Boy hates dancing, but dances anyway, because he can't stop staring—and pretending he's not staring—at Girl. He laughs as she wobbles in her platform shoes. She laughs at his jokes about disco singers. And then something miraculous happens. They listen to the song they're dancing to. I mean, they really hear it for the first time. "The song said, ‘Let's be happy,' and I was happy," Kaplan sings. "It never made me happy before."
I have not heard a more eloquent explanation of how falling in love can change the way you listen to music. There is a song you've heard a million times before—in the supermarket, in the car, in the locker room at the gym—and it never made a big impression on you. And then one day you meet this new person, and suddenly, you are paying close attention to these lyrics, the ones that droned on in the background before. You are embarrassed to find yourself taking everything literally. The lyrics say, "Let's be happy," and just like that, you are happy. The lyrics say, "I am human and I need to be loved" and yes, it's so true! The lyrics say, "Let's get it on," and ... well, what the hell, why not?
But if you are really listening, there is a catch. After Kaplan's simple, giddy epiphany—"I was happy"—you realize he is speaking in the past tense. Then the next line switches to present tense, making the whole thing a memory: "And the song says ‘Don't be lonely' / It makes me lonely / I hear it and I'm lonely more and more." So this Boy Meets Girl story sounds a little older. Years have passed, and the couple is still together, but the song makes them feel sadder now.
SNL: Equal Opportunity Objectifiers
Jon Hamm spent most of the Saturday Night Live episode he hosted last night shirtless.
Confessions of a Woman Comedy Writer
Allison Silverman accepts one from New York Women in Film & Television (and tells us why it's rare).
Comments
lennon would disagree with you
By: thatgirlinnewyork | Mon, 06/15/2009 - 14:54
you might read up on a little history of john lennon and his music before committing to that first graph. if the song is truly autobiographical (and most who know him would say it is), then it is more about re-connecting with the one you love after conflict or a long time, rather than falling in love. the title "(just like) starting over" provides a clue, but read ALL of the lyrics, rather than relying upon a refrain (or title) to derive song meaning, please.
I hate fiance' too
By: Zamanda | Tue, 05/26/2009 - 19:32
Ugh, I hated the word fiance' by the end of my 3 year engagement (we planned it that way), it made me feel like such a bridezilla every time I said it. It's so pretentious sounding.
Anyway, our first dance was to "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton because it was always one of the few slow songs they played at dances while we were in college. But my husband is a huge classic rock snob, so we might have ended up with that one even if we were choosing one.
Re: another conundrum
By: ciaboo | Tue, 05/26/2009 - 12:59
If it's too weird for you or your future spouse (and really, no reason to not have the song that you want), I've always intended to use my parents' wedding song as the song I dance to with my father. It's a way to share their song, and recognize the importance of their partnership in forming me.
Really?
By: bambam | Tue, 05/26/2009 - 12:56
I have to ask, how could anyone hate "Maybe I'm Amazed?" I mean, I understand he can be maudlin, but it's Paul McCartney. It seems like people are critical of him in general, and unfairly. Let's face it, Lennon had a few duds of his own.
Relationship Songs
By: ThisIsMe | Tue, 05/26/2009 - 11:13
My first real boyfriend in college, and HE picked one of my favorite songs saying "this is us!" It was Chantel Kreviazuk's "Feels Like Home". I haven't listened to it in years. The break up was awful. When I have heard it, I grimace and change the song. And this was nearly a decade ago. I don't miss him, but the resentment lingers.
Do it!
By: amurph11 | Sun, 05/24/2009 - 22:48
Okay, it's always mildly weird repeating something your parents did in their wedding - my sister's husband proposed to her in the exact same place my dad proposed to my mom, and I remember thinking I would have been weirded out by it - but that is a great song and a great sentiment for nomadic people (I was a military brat. I know). Just embrace it as tradition - Billy Joel transcends generational divides.
Another Conundrum
By: emechael | Sun, 05/24/2009 - 13:43
Here's another pickle: I love the song You're My Home by Billy Joel as a wedding song- I grew up moving my whole life and will likely have a career that takes my fiance and I all over the place. But this was actually my parents song as well. Can we choose it without some severe Oedipal issues?
fleetwood mac
By: delia lloyd | Fri, 05/22/2009 - 16:01
I still can't listen to the song "I Want To Be With You Everywhere" by Fleetwood Mac (which I hear maybe once every 2 years, randomly) without thinking of one particular ex. But that is pretty much the ONLY time I think of him...except, of course, when I read this post. Thanks for the memory.
Delia Lloyd
www.realdelia.com
Mine is Sunday Morning
By: 00Pisces | Fri, 05/22/2009 - 10:26
I was breaking up with this guy in college, and he posted the lyrics to Maroon 5's "Sunday Morning" as his away message. I knew it meant he had moved on with someone else, but I hadn't heard the song yet. Months later, I was listening to the radio and the song came on. I burst into tears, because I thought that I would have loved it under any other circumstances. I was furious with him for ruining it for me. I thought that the song was lost to me forever, before I ever even knew it. Now, four years later, I put it on playlists and even sing along, though not without a sense of relief that I got out of that relationship intact!