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Like scores of American women, Michelle Obama detests pantyhose. “I stopped wearing pantyhose a long time ago because it was painful,” she said on The View last June. “Put ‘em on, rip ‘em—it’s inconvenient.” As any woman knows, Michelle has a point. Wearing pantyhose is like being stuffed—thighs, butt, and belly—into a casing. Whether they’re 99-cent L’Eggs or $99 Fogels, they are good for one use, guaranteed to snag and run, rendering even the most uptight, Brooks Brothers skirt-suited attorney an Elmer Batters fetish model. This seems to be yet another way in which Michelle has raided Jackie O’s closet and tweaked it in the name of comfort and convenience. Jackie O might have gone sleeveless—as the press never failed to remind us—but her legs were nearly always sheathed.
So is this just more proof that Michelle Obama is “[a]n authentically empowered real woman who looks and feels like a modern woman in the 21st century,” as Oprah told Vogue’s André Leon Talley? Well, what the Obama-struck fail to acknowledge is that there is nothing casual—or natural—about a bare leg in 2009. Not in today’s medicalized beauty culture. Whereas pantyhose are lambasted as being constrictive and a colossal waste of money, going bare means a woman must consider waxing, exfoliation, firming creams, anti-cellulite and stretch-mark treatments, regular pedicures, and salon spray tans or self-tanners—yes, even for women of color. According to Mikki Taylor, beauty director and cover editor of Essence, self-tanners for black women are used “to combat sallowness and promote glow,” she explained over the phone. It used to be that a woman had to visit a spa to find these products. Today, however, even Duane Reade drugstores, ubiquitous in New York City, foists them upon us. Indeed, they’ve become as common as aspirin and toilet paper. And, it would appear, just as necessary.
For more aggressive treatment there is always the option of cosmetic surgery, where you may undergo laser skin-resurfacing (to smooth out texture and blotches), and liposuction for thighs, knees, and—yes—ankles. When varicose veins and spider veins surface—more visible on white women—there is sclerotherapy ($300 to $800 per treatment) as well as invasive endovenous ablations ($2,500 per treatment). Black women scar more easily than white women, and for that there are more, and specialized, lasers. Not to mention the new “baggy” knee surgery, popularized by Demi Moore, which Vogue wrote about in last August’s “Age(Less)” issue. The demise of pantyhose corresponds to a nearly 500 percent increase in plastic surgery and a soaring growth in over-the-counter “cosmeceuticals,” many of which are misbranded drugs suckering women with their science-ese and Rx packaging as the FDA turns a blind eye. In 2007, sales of cosmeceuticals reached $16 billion; they are expected to reach $21 billion by 2012, according to Packaged Facts reports.
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