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On the highest shelves in Mary Karr’s New York City apartment, above the writer’s desk, is a collection of capital block letters that spell out “HUBRIS.” The letters are an unsubtle warning against the sin of excessive pride. It must work, because Karr is extremely, hilariously self-deprecating. So much so that in Lit, her latest memoir, she denigrates her own suicide attempt as “the lamest stab in suicide’s history.”
Lit is also about Karr’s alcoholism, her conversion to Catholicism, and her trip to the “mental Marriott”—her kicky euphemism for the psych ward. The book is written in the singularly gritty yet funny voice that is the hallmark of all Karr’s autobiographical work, including her two previous memoirs: The Liar’s Club, about her mother’s psychotic break during Karr’s childhood in East Texas, and Cherry, which picks up in her adolescence. She has also published several books of poetry. You can see the link between that genre and her nonfiction: She uses deeply lyrical language, particularly to describe her physical environment (“razor-slicing rain,” for instance, and “chlorophyll green and punctuated in the distance by gargantuan silver silos”).
I talked to Karr over tea in her orchid-filled Hell’s Kitchen apartment about her new book, her faith, subway rage, how God likes her better than other authors, and why memoir writing is not stereotypically female.
Jessica Grose: I was really taken by the prologue of Lit, in which you are talking about how important it is for your son, Dev, to tell his own story. Did you consciously wait until he was an adult to write about him?
Mary Karr: I think I unconsciously waited. I was offered a lot of money to write this book in 2000, when Cherry came out and the reviews were good. I was offered a lot a lot from three different publishers. And I turned it down. That was one of those crazy prayer decisions. In truth, when I look back on it, I really did not want to be talking about my alcoholism and our divorce probably until Dev was out of high school.
My son has never read my books, but he knows what’s in all of them, and I think he’ll read them eventually.
I read Lit at the end of August, when there were two articles in the New York Times Arts section, one of which was about a British woman, Julie Myerson, who wrote about her son’s drug addiction and was roundly pilloried. The other was a companion article about Kaylie Jones, who wrote a memoir called Lies My Mother Never Told Me about her narcissistic mom. There was this discussion in the air about whether it’s OK to write about young children.
Jessica Grose is the managing editor of Double X and the co-author of Love, Mom: Poignant, Goofy, Brilliant Messages from Home. Click here to follow her on Twitter.
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Comments
@Lorikay4 - So are you going to read the book or not?
By: mollyern | Wed, 11/04/2009 - 18:15
Your opinions are yours to have and free to express. I'm just not sure what relevance they have to this specific subject - i.e. an interview with Karr about her third memoir.
I'm assuming you haven't read the book yet. In your first post you seem to lean towards not reading it, but equivicate in your latest post.
My post was not calling you a monster (where are you getting that, anyway?) I was calling you out on the fact that you claim Karr's conversion to the Catholic religion "depressed" you. And? So? You yourself don't seem to know what that means. Are you really saying that you reject the opinions and writings of at least 1/4 of the world, assuming that is the number of Catholics in the world?
Anyone is free to read a book with a jaundiced eye depending upon what they know of an author, but the point is that the book still gets read. If we only read the works of people we agree with on religion, politics, and personal habits, what's the point?
You actually chastise Karr for turning to religion instead of her intellect and you haven't even read the book yet, at least I'm assuming you haven't. MY opinion is that people who have a laundry list of objections to a book before it is even read seem a little foolish. It's the same mindset of "don't confuse me with the facts."
You stated your opinions on religion and how to free oneself of addiction. Fair enough. I'm still not sure what they have to do this book or interview or what relevance they have UNTIL YOU READ THE BOOK.
ridiculous
By: lorikay4 | Wed, 11/04/2009 - 10:45
Is it her job to keep my spirits up? Of course not, and my posts do not suggest that.
Life is hard. Problems like addiction and depression are daunting and ruin lives. But they can be faced with one's intellectual capacities, not just emotions, engaged. And because I admire Mary Karr's work, I am interested in how she faces the challenges of life. And I'm not a monster for saying that joining a basically woman-unfriendly religion is not a choice that impresses me. If people put their lives out in the world as part of their art, they are doing so (I think) to seek engagement. If she were of a mind to keep all that off the table, that would be her prerogative. But she didn't, and so my response. Unlike many Christians, I don't predict her damnation because she disagrees with me.
If she joined the Hare Krishnas, heads would shake all around, and there would be criticism and discussion of whether that was a good decision. But no one is allowed to criticize or question the religious choices of another person, it's off limits. It's not polite. Which is bananas, because religion is an idea no different than any other idea, like being a Republican or a vegetarian, and should be as open to debate and criticism as those ideas are.
It's Not Mary Karr's Job to Keep Anyone from Getting Depressed
By: mollyern | Wed, 11/04/2009 - 09:23
If Karr's religious affiliations make one "depressed" that is hardly her problem or her job to fix it.
I find it ironic that so many seem to admire Karr for her honesty, then profess to feelings of "depression" when she talks of her religion with, uh, honesty. I saw these types of self-absorbed posts on another site and frankly they baffle me. She could just as well kept religion out of her book, or not written the book at all, knowing full well how much her choice of religion might "depress" someone.
I'm glad Double X published this interview. I will definitely look for Karr's new book.
sure
By: lorikay4 | Tue, 11/03/2009 - 19:15
She's not responsible for everything the Catholic Church does, but how can anyone know even the 'highlights' of their participation in matters relating to the health and freedom of women still want much to do with them?
I wrote what I wrote because I have a high regard for her intelligence. If you respect someone, you call them out when they do nutty things. Friends don't let friends convert to Catholicism.
Grace abides
By: Bo | Tue, 11/03/2009 - 17:43
Karr isn't responsible for every action of the Roman Catholic Church, no more than every one who voted for Obama is responsible for every action of the Democratic party. Her choice for faith isn't based on logic but on emotion. To turn up your nose at her choice is your choice, but it's a petty and mean-spirited thing to do.
depresses the hell out of me
By: lorikay4 | Tue, 11/03/2009 - 11:16
It depresses the hell out of me that Mary Karr, so wonderfully profane and realistic and unwilling to buy anyone's crap as a writer, has gone and got religion. I adored The Liar's Club, and liked Cherry pretty well, but am now really not sure if I want to read Lit.
Part of me wants to chalk up her conversion entirely to trying to find anything in the world that would help her dry up and get off booze and drugs. And meds only go so far to treat depression, I know. But still, ugh. The Catholic freaking church? Home of people who would rather see young men and women die of AIDS in Africa rather than acknowledge the truth of human behavior and hand them a rubber? These are your saviors, Mary? Please.
If growing up an intelligent misfit in Texas doesn't make someone constitutionally incapable of religion, then I don't know anything.