A Comedian's Defense of Letterman, in Two Parts

People get into comedy because there’s somebody they want to make laugh. Usually they do this with jokes. This is not so true of David Letterman, who, deep into his wind-up Thursday night, confessed that he has had sex with women who work for him, and was just blackmailed. Part of what’s made Letterman a revolution is that he does it with anti-jokes. He made jokes that don’t work funnier than jokes that do. When Letterman advertises a segment as being “for your enjoyment,” you get the sense he’s telling you it’s not worth doing and, therefore, the fact that he’s doing it is funny.

Letterman uses dramatic words and undersells them. He builds vast structures and theme songs around purposefully underdeveloped bits. In a fondly remembered ‘80s bit, Letterman created a catchphrase contest that featured people issuing lines like the winning “They pelted us with rocks and garbage [2],” delivered by two teens in a monotone. They were then challenged by the likes of “Too much lotion!”

Lately, Letterman has been doing a segment called “Is This Anything? [3]”, in which he frontloads the concept, telling the audience that what they’re about to see “could be a singer, could be a banjo player, could be a pianist, could be a ballet dancer.  ... Could be anything.” When the curtain’s raised, there’s a woman with four hula hoops, a woman with a power tool, and a man jumping on an orange exercise ball. Afterward, he and Paul agree that they don’t think that was anything.

So we are used to Letterman creating a context for something big to happen and then humorously undercutting our expectations, which is exactly what happened Thursday night. When he tells us that someone has proof that he does “terrible, terrible things,” “embarrassing, terrible things,” "quite a lot of terrible stuff," and “creepy stuff,” we are eagerly anticipating the anticlimax of the event, which, in this case, is the fact that he slept with women in his office. What could be less of a story than plain old heterosexual sex? Letterman breaks the tension and gets a big laugh and a round of applause.

This is something I imagine some audience members are not proud of in retrospect. But is this anything?

Raise the curtain on a man with millions of fans who was unfaithful to his wife. Personally sad? Absolutely. But for the rest of us is this anything? Unless these women were harassed or pressured, no.

Now raise the curtain on the other player in this scenario, Robert Halderman, who was indicted for attempted blackmail of Letterman. Halderman is a producer for 48 Hours, which recently broadcast hour episodes titled “Our Father, the Godfather,” “Seven Days of Rage: The Craigslist Killer,” “Kidnapped,” and “Invitation to a Murder.” According to its website, this Saturday’s 48 Hours Mystery will enlighten us with the story of a mother and daughter “taken hostage, strapped with dynamite and forced to rob a bank.”

A producer working for years in a news environment that sells sensational crimes on Saturday nights is charged with one of his own.

Is that anything? I’d say definitely yes.