We All Lose Our Charm in the End

In an effort to answer why so many "lady lawyers, doctors, and MBAs" at their class reunions "were still slaving after forty," authors Elizabeth Ford and Daniela Drake (a lady doctor, herself) have explored "why do bimbos fare better than the smart chicks" in their new sociological study from Perseus publishing: Smart Girls Marry Money [2]. Sadly, the pink-covered book is not a comic novel by Anita Loos [3] but a "hard hitting indictment on society" doubling as a how-to manual for enterprising gold diggers. While the book is intended for the audience of "young supple beauties squandering their hotness," there is good news for single women whose "sell date is long overdue": Women over 40 "may still avoid working until you drop dead."

Perseus' calculating assessment of its bimbo market (the publisher's titles include the madly successful Skinny Bitch [4]—"a tart-tongued, no-holds-barred wakeup call to all women who want to be thin"—which spawned at least three sequels) suggests that sure bets are cute terms (fluffer [5] wife, feminasties, and fugly are well-used in the text), dire warnings ("if you marry a man with potential, when he finally achieves, he often leaves"), and tips for trollops ("If all else fails, you can always go for the short guy. He's funny and sweet and if he earns, he's worth a second look").

Here's a tip of my own: Nothing against diamonds, but except in one of my favorite old songs [6] (T-Bone Burnett version here [7]), they do not make true friends.