The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack

I know SpongeBob and Flapjack, you're no SpongeBob.  Everything that's good about SpongeBob—strong supporting characters, genuinely silly sight gags and tight linear narratives—is absent here. What's left is "quirkiness with a nautical theme," which just isn't enough for grown-ups ... or kids, frankly, if they watch enough TV to have opinions. The title character is an innocent boy being raised by a kindly whale named "Bubbie," who, despite having a Jewish grandma name, sounds more like Nell Carter's character on the '80s sitcom Gimme a Break.  Scenes often take place, inexplicably, inside Bubbie's mouth, where she offers her honeyed words of wisdom while characters lounge on her mammoth tongue.  Episodes also get confusing and creepy when Flapjack hangs out with characters like Captain K'nuckles, a pirate who looks like a sex offender and spends a lot of time encouraging Flapjack to search for "Candied Island."  No, not in his pants, but you can't help thinking that if this weren't a kids' show, that's exactly where he'd set sail.  His cohorts include guys named Peppermint Larry and Slippery Pete.  Marvelous misadventures, indeed!

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