Pass the Tub of Cranberry Sauce, Please

While some babes learn to blend a tomato sauce or knead bread at their mother’s knee, I was raised in a kitchen with a contrary philosophy of food preparation: If there’s an easy way out, take it. Now that my parents have moved to Manhattan, this translates into an imperative to eat out or order in for virtually every meal—including Thanksgiving. Ours is almost entirely catered by the local supermarket (though we do place the jumbo marshmallows by hand atop the pre-purchased mashed sweet potatoes).

Even if you opt to whip your own Yukon Golds and hand-stuff your stuffing, there’s one side dish for which the Henig rule of cooking is surely the way to go: the cranberry sauce. With a packed counter and all your mixing bowls occupied, why not let that one bit of the meal make itself? Of course, the sauce-y side dish—like every component of your Turkey Day spread—will face a table of judging family eyes, so you’ll want to be sure you go with a canned brand that will inspire a genuine giving of thanks.

Methodology
A newly married couple who are friends of mine, surely looking for an excuse to bust out all their registry cookware, hosted a pre-Thanksgiving earlier this month and let me sully the spread with plastic cups of a sampling of canned cranberry sauces. I stuck to brands you can find at national chains—Whole Foods, Trader Joes, and the ubiquitous Ocean Spray—but your local supermarket probably has its own canned alternative, too. (Safeway brand took the crown [2] in a San Francisco Chronicle taste test, but that’s one chain that hasn’t permeated the New York metropolitan area, so it didn’t make the cut for us.)

The panel of six discerning judges tested three brands of canned cranberry sauces, in both whole-berry and jellied varieties when possible. (Trader Joe’s doesn’t offer jellied.) We evaluated the sauces on a six-point scale (1= “yuck,” 6= “awesome”) for appearance, consistency, and taste and then averaged the scores. Here they are, from the organic loser you should keep far from the table to the not-quite-canned cranny victor.

365 Organic cranberry sauce, whole berries
Although one tester thought this sauce tasted “like candy,” the group consensus was summed up by the only one of the bunch who spoke with an adorable Italian accent: “Gross, gross, gross, gross, gross.” The room was split over whether the taste or the consistency was more appalling, but all agreed they’d leave this one untouched on the plate. Said one disappointed judge: “I knew the second I laid eyes on it that I was going to hate it.”

Appearance: 2.2
Consistency: 2
Taste: 2

365 organic cranberry sauce, jellied
This Whole Foods contender couldn’t shake the smell of its origin. A few noted that it “tastes like a can” (or, as a more refined taster put it, has “an aluminum nose”). The “very mild” taste was inoffensive to some but decidedly underwhelming. The only enthusiast declared, “My Latin roots are kind of digging this one. ... It definitely has guava.” He was wrong. There is no guava in the ingredients, unless it is part of the "natural fruit pectin" listed.

Appearance: 2.2
Consistency: 2
Taste: 2.4

Ocean Spray, jellied
As the first jellied option to be presented, this contender’s consistency took a few panelists by surprise (“Is it supposed to be like this?” one asked), but tasters appreciated the tart, sharp flavor. If your family typically goes the jellied route, it’s a solid option—and certainly the most widely available; every supermarket I visited had the Ocean Spray brand stocked, and the competitors of the canned-fruit aisle, Dole and Del Monte, seem to have yielded this particular fruit to the Spray. Still, if you come from whole-berry roots, this gelatinous mass could be off-putting.

Appearance: 2
Consistency: 2.7
Taste: 3

Ocean Spray whole fruit
There’s not much to like about Ocean Spray’s whole-fruit option. At best, the judges found it “a little bland”; at worst, “mealy, like a spoiled apple.” One said it “tastes like a fruit roll-up”—but one that’s spent too long in the cupboard. The fruit floating in the sauce was “kind of hard,” and the overall effect was at once both “liquid-y and bulbous.” The only thing it has going for it over the jellied version: It’s not jellied.

Appearance: 3
Consistency: 3.2
Taste: 2.5

Trader Joe’s
The Trader Joe’s brand of cranberry sauce comes in a plastic tub rather than a can. Perhaps that contributes to its fresh taste and “deeper, richer flavor.” TJs won appearance points for its ideal purplish color (unlike the 365 brand, which was “more like burnt sienna”) and the suspension of whole cranberries, but the taste is what really got the judges raving. “This shit’s from the farm!” one exclaimed. Echoing excitement about the freshness, another said: “It feels like less happened between the berry and my mouth.”

Appearance: 4.8
Consistency: 5
Taste: 4.9

The Verdict
After I had cleared away the tasting cups and we helped ourselves to seconds of the turkey, stuffing, parsnips, and ‘taters, all of the tasters opted for the homemade cranberry sauce at the table over the tubbed winner. Perhaps they were just being polite. Or maybe my mother’s Law of the Kitchen is willfully off-base and homemade really is better. Still, if you need to cut a few corners this holiday season, feel free to turn your attention to the turkey, and let Uncle Joe handle the cran.