You Want My Body for 3 Bucks an Hour?

Jessica, Kerry, and Sarah, your posts have me curious about the price of parenthood in surrogate situations, for both “intended parents” and surrogates. I crunched some numbers using the $20,000 payment that you mentioned, Sarah, and was shocked to realize that a surrogate making that much for a full-term pregnancy would earn less than half the federal minimum wage. When you consider that a pregnant woman is pregnant all day, every day, for nine months, $20,000 amounts to about $3 an hour.

This is obviously a highly unscientific calculation. You can be pregnant and continue to work (although you can also be pregnant and miss work because you’re at the doctor, or throwing up, or asleep). So help me out, DoubleXers who have had kids: At what point in a pregnancy does the forthcoming bundle of joy really start interfering with your life? How many “billable hours” could a pregnant woman expect to rack up? And is there any way to figure out just compensation for an endeavor as complicated as carrying someone else’s child?

Photograph of a pregnant woman by David DeLossy/Getty Images.

Comments

If money was the only motive...

By: Amanda Patchin | Thu, 07/23/2009 - 16:43

...I can't imagine what would be enough.

I have two sons and both pregnancies were hugely exhausting undertakings. I was tired constantly. Eating was a full-time job as was digestion and elimination. It seemed that every second of my day, my entire body was focused on producing the baby. In the later months heartburn, sciatic nerve pain and poor circulation took over. And then there is labor! If you're going to calculate the hourly rate then labor should be some kind of triple-overtime with hazard pay! I already have the stretch marks and sagging breasts but that should definitely be a consideration for a first pregnancy. Of course I love my sons enough to make those long months seem well-worth it but I couldn't manage another 10 months of that just for the cash. Obviously I would not be a good candidate for surrogacy.

I think that it depends

By: donnap | Wed, 07/22/2009 - 14:38

Actually, I think that it depends on the person. I had two children and as far as I am concerned neither of my pregnancies interferred with my life. I never got sick, my energy level never wained, my doctor's appointments were in the evening so I didn't have to take time off from work. I was able to do everything that I did before I was pregnant. Although the doctor told me during my first pregnancy that I could work until two weeks before my due date, I did start my maternity leave two months before my due date. The reason was not because I could not do my job anymore, but because I was working in a dangerous position and my husband, my co-workers and I decided that it would be for the best if I didn't put myself in a position to have the baby injured or to put my co-workers in a position where they were distracted for fear that something would happen to me. I did not consider that interfering with my life but just a by-product of the career that I had chosen for myself at that time. Even dealing with a 2 year old during my second pregnancy as a stay at home mom, I don't feel that pregnancy interferred with anything that I wanted to do. I have to say that I had two great pregnancies and I was totally active during both of them. Everyone is different and how they felt during their pregnancy would most likely be on thing that would color how much they feel that it interferred with their lives.

I can't speak for other

By: mtnhighmama | Wed, 07/22/2009 - 13:20

I can't speak for other surrogates, as the compensation question is an incredibly personal one. However, I can share my own view.

For me,
The $$$ is only *part* of the compensation I receive as a surrogate. There are other things that make the process worthwhile: the knowledge that I was able to make someone's dream come true; the inclusion in something so intimate and personal; the magic of being part of such love and intention; the joy in the parents' eyes and knowing that I am, in part, the reason for it; the phone calls from the parents that keep me updated on what their children are doing; the opportunity to experience something with such incredible emotional depth that isn't a death (what other happenings are there in life that carry more emotional weight?); the joy of experiencing another pregnancy without having to parent over again (mine are all older and I wouldn't go back to the early years). Really, there are so many other things than I've listed.

So, these aren't 'billable hours' type forms of compensation. It's so very hard to quantify, and this is why it's so difficult to put numbers to surrogacy and why it's such an uncomfortable topic for people.

In addition, it should be noted that surrogacy journies aren't just about the pregnancy and birth and postpartum. There is a considerable amount of time that goes into the matching process, the screenings, and also the process of getting pregnant...the injections to prepare the body, the u/s to ensure the injections are working, the actual procedures. And quite often it takes several transfers to work. Surrogacy is, at a minimum, a full year's process if it works. But most often the process lasts at least 18 months.

Calculating risk

By: Samantha Henig | Wed, 07/22/2009 - 12:09

I agree with arkb. It's not the pain/inconvenience of those 9 months that would deter me so much as the risks going forward. I remember seeing ads in student papers when I was visiting colleges (at the Ivy League ones, in particular) that offered up to $100,000 or so for eggs, provided you had a certain SAT score, and were a certain percent Jewish, or whatever other stipulations. That's a lot of money. But it's also a lot of hormones that you're introducing into your body to do it. I just couldn't get over the question of "What if I do this now, and then when I'm ready to have a kid of my own, something goes wrong?" I felt like I'd always be wondering if those hormones I had introduced for the egg donation were to blame, and weighing whether it was worth it.

It affects your body the whole nine months.

By: calimom | Wed, 07/22/2009 - 11:54

My pregnancy affected my body from the beginning. I was exhausted all the time in the beginning, then I got "morning" sickness (it really lasted all day.) Later on, symptoms included heartburn, migraines, swelling, insomnia, and carpal tunnel. Of course symptoms vary, but my pregnancy wasn't high-risk or anything.

I did work through my pregnancy, in a job where I was on my feet much of the day. Of course pregnancy was fun sometimes too. I loved the feeling of the baby doing backflips inside me.

Still, the only thing that made it worthwhile for me was the reward of my daughter in the end. I don't think I would carry someone else's baby for all the money in the world!

Pregnancy is a unique experience, and I don't think someone who has not been pregnant can really understand everything it entails.

Fun but misses the point

By: arkb | Wed, 07/22/2009 - 11:29

What's the point in calculating billable hours? In addition to the possible interference of the pregnancy with the g.s.'s normal life, you've asked her to take on additional liability related to her long term health. No one expects complications to arise in a healthy woman that has had healthy previous pregnancies, but serious health problems do arise (weight gain, blood pressure issues, infections, and even death of course) so the payment for these services should account for not only the time involved in gestation, but also the risk the g.s. takes on.

$20k might seem like a steep figure, but when you consider what that woman is doing for you, it's a bargain.