Watch Children, Not Parents!

Photograph by Ryan McVay/Getty Images.

Many of the parents and teachers described in the New York Times article about letting your kids walk to school alone seem to be misdirecting their watchdog inclinations. Our communities have become vigilant about monitoring and admonishing “negligent” parents for letting their kids escort themselves to school. But shouldn’t that energy be going toward watching out for the kids themselves?

I walked to and from school every day from the time I was 8 until I graduated from high school, usually alone. It was a mile’s walk through a nice residential neighborhood in downtown Chicago. Most kids at my school got a ride. I griped about walking when the weather was terrible, but I appreciated the time by myself and the sense of freedom I had. One spring day when I was 13, I was mugged by three older boys from a nearby high school. They held me up at knife-point, emptied out my backpack, frisked me, and ran off when they realized I had nothing but (really) dirty gym clothes to offer them. I sobbed the rest of the way home.

What’s strange about the story is not that I was mugged (I was as obvious a victim as any), but that it occurred in broad daylight on a residential street in a safe neighborhood when people were out walking their dogs, gardening, getting home from work—and not a single person looked up to notice what was happening to me. If we want to live in communities in which kids can be out by themselves, we must, as communities, be watchful of our children. There will always be wild cards—outsiders who sneak in, insiders with devious intentions, reckless drivers—but we ought to be able to depend on one another to keep an eye out, and to intervene if trouble arises.

Photograph of a mother driving her kids to school by Ryan McVay/Getty Images.

Comments

Great piece regarding Watch

By: Larry128 | Wed, 12/09/2009 - 17:29

Great piece regarding Watch Children, Not Parents!. Lose Abdominal Fat Watch Children, Not Parents!. How to Lose Your Love Handles Watch Children, Not Parents!. How To Lose Love Handles

We all want who is sale

By: Replica | Sat, 09/26/2009 - 23:48

We all want who is sale Replica Louis Vuitton because all the popular lv online store purses offer them to have the most superior in design at costs that make it a reality. I did some searching and most of discounted louis vuitton bags go for no more than $1 000! They are very cheap louis vuitton outlet We all like Replica Louis Vuitton Let’s go to buy Louis Vuitton Replica

tiffany jewelry

By: lily123 | Thu, 09/24/2009 - 04:07

tiffany bangles,
tiffany bracelets,
tiffany pendants
tiffany bracelet,
tiffany bangle or
tiffany pendant
tiffany cuff links
tiffany jewelry

مترجم انجليزي عربي برامج

By: beckham_250 | Sat, 09/19/2009 - 19:43

مترجم انجليزي عربي
برامج n73
مترجم
مترجم عربي انجليزي
ترجمة
تنزيل ماسنجر
تنزيل ماسنجر بلس
تحميل ماسنجر بلس
برامج كمبيوتر
برامج نوكيا
برامج مجانية
برنامج محول الصوتيات
برنامج لفتح المواقع المحجوبة
برنامج الفوتوشوب
برنامج الماسنجر
برنامج فلاش
رسائل عيد ميلاد
نغمات اسلامية
برنامج فتح المواقع المحجوبة
برنامج لفتح المواقع
برنامج لاستعادة الملفات المحذوفة
برنامج لفتح اكثر من ماسنجر
برنامج تسريع التحميل
برنامج تورنت
تحميل ثيمات n73
تحميل ثيمات n70
تحميل ثيمات n95
تحميل ثيمات جوال n73
تحميل ثيمات
تحميل ثيمات نوكيا
رسائل رومانسية
برنامج تقطيع الاغاني
برامج n95
برامج n70
برامج نوكيا n95
محول صوتيات
لفتح المواقع المحجوبة
hotspot shield
رسائل حب
تعليم الفوتوشوب
تحميل برنامج الفوتوشوب
مسجات عتاب
مسجات عيد ميلاد
برامج نوكيا n73
ثيمات n70
فتح المواقع المحجوبة
برامج الجوال
ثيمات الجوال
ثيمات نوكيا
ثيمات نوكيا n95
ثيمات نوكيا n73
تحميل ثيمات الجوال
نغمات الجوال
نغمات الجوال اسلامية
نغمات نوكيا
تحميل برامج فوتوشوب
تحميل ماسنجر
تحميل برامج كمبيوتر
تحميل ثيمات
يوتوب
نغمات رومانسية
تحميل الفوتوفلتر
autodesk maya 2010
antirap برنامج
anti rap برنامج
برنامج تحويل الصوتيات
تحويل الصوتيات
برنامج تحويل الصوتيات الى mp3
برنامج تحويل صوتيات
برنامج خاشع
برامج تحويل الصوت
برامج الجيل الخامس
mp3 sound cutter
mp3 cutter
تنزيل ماسنجر
hotspot shield launch
msn 2009
msn 2009 download
messenger 2009

Remarking, I totally get what

By: Bunnyhop234 | Tue, 09/15/2009 - 15:26

Remarking, I totally get what you are saying. I let my kids play unsupervised in the backyards and don't jump in every time they hang out with friends, but I just can't let them roam around the neighborhood. It probably isn't the best thing for them, but I am definitely not the only one who is this way. In my neighborhood, my five year old actually has more freedom than others. Many of them seem to rarely be outside! So, I do think this will probably be a big issue in the years to come. Blame Nancy Grace! :)

The Death and Life of Great American Cities

By: remarking | Tue, 09/15/2009 - 15:11

This is also an excellent time to mention The Death and Life of Great American Cities by Jane Jacobs, a classic work on sociology and urban planning.

One of her arguments was that neighborhoods need to be places where people are out and about, learning about their neighbors and the neighborhood shops, sending kids on errands, expecting others to maintain a social fabric that keeps an eye on them. Neighborhoods that are socially and economically interactive are safer and less likely to decay than neighborhoods that push their residents into relative isolation from one another. Their cities are thus safer, more active, and economically better off in the long run.

Isolating ourselves and our kids in little islands of "safe space" is not necessarily the best thing for our kids and our society.

Unfortunately, this is one of those problems where the incentive that people believe benefits the individual is the same one that hurts the larger society.

Btw, I'm not trying to directly criticize parents who are worried enough to keep their kids on shorter leashes these days, I know that the prospect of losing a child to a danger is horrifying. This is something we need to solve collectively by figuring out how to encourage safe and interactive neighborhoods, not by targeting individuals.

Bunnyhop234, what if you're

By: remarking | Tue, 09/15/2009 - 15:02

Bunnyhop234, what if you're worried about the wrong risks? What if you're balancing the extremely small risk of a stranger abduction against a much commoner risk that restricting independence turns kids into adults who have much less self-reliance and ability than previous generations did?

Or other risks. Why do we have a generation of kids who spend all their time inside or in supervised play, but who live in neighborhoods that are much safer than they were in the 1970s?

And why do we have a generation of kids whose levels of physical activity have dropped enormously since the 1970s?

And why do we have a generation of kids whose rates of obesity, heart disease, and diabetes are exploding?

What if that very small risk of stranger abduction is the risk we have to take to get a healthy, happy, independent crop of young adults?

walking home

By: Bunnyhop234 | Tue, 09/15/2009 - 10:24

When I was about eight, I was riding my bike in my neighborhood when a nice looking man in his 20s stopped his car by me and asked me where the local park was. In retrospect, I am 100% positive that he meant me harm, because 1) who asks a little girl for directions? and 2) he picked a nearby location that he knew a kid would know how to get to. Fortunately, I had "stranger danger" knowledge instilled in me so I freaked out and yelled "no!" and biked off immediately. I shudder to think what would have happened if I had went over to his window and started giving him directions.

Because of this, I can't just let my little kids run around the neighborhood. I let them play in neighbor's yards and have a little freedom from parents. I know that there is a very small chance of them getting taken, but it happens and I couldn't go on living if it happened to one of my babies. I don't hover, I let them interact with other kids and figure out their differences without getting involved, but they are not taking off down the road for school. It ain't worth it.

Ridiculous

By: erynna | Tue, 09/15/2009 - 08:42

I realize that there are neighborhoods where it might not be safe to walk alone, but I think things are getting out of hand. My mother walked me to school the first week of Kindergarten and then after that I was on my own. I walked to school unattended by an adult from age 5 until I graduated from high school. This is not something that happened in the distant past of idyllic suburbs, I'm only 27. What's more, most of the "walkers" in my neighborhood did the same. Granted, no one really walked alone, most kids had a set of friends they walked to and from school with, but there were seldom parents involved. It wasn't until I was a Senior in High School that something even remotely nefarious happened, a car followed slowly behind me as I walked, at which point a neighbor picked me up and drove me to school. Julia is right, the neighborhood needs to be involved. Up until that point, the worst thing that had happened involved boys getting into minor fisticuffs on the way home. The small city I grew up in, complete with urban decay, still has children walking unattended to school. Where I come from, both mom and dad work and so it's never occurred to them to hover over their children, doing so is a luxury.

Important point

By: geml | Mon, 09/14/2009 - 23:34

This is an important point. I mentioned in another post that I have pretty much done all the scenarios -- I've driven my son to school, sent him on a bus, walked him to school, let him walk himself, let him walk in a group.

What worked best for us was letting him walk alone (he was in 6th grade going to an elementary school a few blocks from his home in Fairfax County, VA. There were no roads to cross, but crossing guards were provided to watch and cross as others needed them.) But I also mentioned to the mothers of younger children, who were walking their children, to keep an eye out on him. I also walked him through the neighborhood and told him which houses to go to should anything upsetting happen.

He felt independent, but also learned that living in a neighborhood meant dealing with neighbors. He had no problems at all going to and from school.

What I do NOT suggest is going up to every lone kid and asking where is your parent (usually the mother...almost always the female parent....) or asking if he/she ok or if they need help. This will only make the child worry that something is wrong. But yes, keep an eye on the children around you and get to know the children in your neighborhood by name. Be prepared to say hello to them and ask them how they are today. Be prepared that you might get a mutter in response, and don't insist on walking with them, but at least you know that the child is where he should be, doing what he should be doing and they know you're there.