Is it possible to envy the Obama marriage and the Jolie life?

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Jessica, the most striking thing to me about Amanda’s great post on the widely-envied Obama marriage was that I read it immediately before reading Naomi Wolf’s quirky piece in Harper's Bazaar that Willa mentions about women who ostensibly covet Angelina Jolie’s entire life. I confess that while I have glanced longingly at the Obama’s marriage—the date nights; the obvious, palpable affection; the perpetual-motion-mother-in-law—it never once occurred to me to lust after Jolie’s domestic arrangement. The kids! The saintliness! The Brad! (the Brad!!) It all looks to be so completely revolutionary but also so weirdly exhausting and unreal—even with one’s own pilot’s license.

Maybe that’s why Wolf focuses her attention on how women envy Jolie’s life, but not her marriage. In fact Brad Pitt is kind of hot-trophy-boy in Wolf’s telling; a man Jolie “took for her own pleasure ... as the most desired of the tribe.” What does it say about how conflicted American women must be if we covet Jolie’s life but crave the Obama marriage? Is there something so transgressive about Joilie’s marriage—to use Wolf’s word—that it doesn’t seem appealing to us at all? We may want Jolie's have-it-all life, but we want it with a backyard swingset and grilled cheese every Monday.

Perhaps the real truth is that nobody thinks Jolie’s "ego ideal" of a life, could possibly be united with that of, say, the male ego-ideal that is Barack Obama? It's why Michelle Obama, who's given up so much to become first lady, may not herself be anyone's ego-ideal right now. Which is another way of saying, we may covet Michelle Obama’s marriage but do American women want her life??

Tags: Amanda Fortini; Barack Obama; Michelle Obama; Obama marriage

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Comments

تحميل برامج تحميل برنامج

By: beckham_250 | Sun, 09/20/2009 - 07:05

تحميل برامج تحميل برنامج تحميل برامج نوكيا برامج
تحميل ماسنجر تحميل موبايل موقع دليل مواقع

its joke

By: khemso | Fri, 08/28/2009 - 09:36

yes ... good thinking

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I thought I didn't want to be Michelle... now I'm not so sure

By: Meredith Simons | Wed, 06/10/2009 - 14:18

KJ and Phenicks, you've certainly given me some things to think about. I have to admit that I've cringed at a lot of what I've read about Michelle Obama recently, mostly because it doesn't seem to ever be about her, but about her husband, her kids, or her clothes. I wanted to scream "She is a Princeton- and Harvard-educated lawyer and hospital administrator!" every time I read something about Michelle's status as "mom-in-chief" or listened to a debate over whether she was wearing the right outfit for gardening. It seemed to me like she'd given up an awful lot in this new domestic arrangement.

But you're right that the position of first lady can (obviously, thanks to Hillary) be a launching pad for some great things after the White House. But I still hope that the "first lady" line on her resume ends up being more about what she does in the East Wing than what her husband does in the West. I'd like to see her take on a bigger role in certain national debates (she certainly has the background and education for it) and define her own agenda for the next four (or eight) years. But what do you think? Is it just wishful thinking to imagine that a woman can emerge from the wringer of the White House and not be defined by what her husband did there? After all, Bill's antics provided fodder for Hillary's critics more than eight years later.

Would I want to be first

By: Phenicks | Tue, 06/09/2009 - 14:04

Would I want to be first lady? HELL YEAH!!! Michelle Obama has had success as an attorney and an education to back it up that most Americans in the corporate world go ga-ga over. Being first lady was a launching pad for Hillary Clinton think of what it will do for Mrs. Obama! Would I want to be first lady? Damn right I would. She's the epitome of a do-it-all-highly-educated-family-orientated-have-it-all woman/mom. She is in a position of high power and meet people that most people couldn't get close to. She practically hugged the queen of England, are we really going to downplay that as if the potential this all gives her is nothing in comparison to had she remained in her position as an attorney? Are we going to pretend that being the first lady doesn't look good on your resume? Specifically being the first lady with a background like Mrs. Obama who was once partner in a high powered firm?

Don't You Think Michelle Obama is Having Fun?

By: KJ Dell Antonia | Tue, 06/09/2009 - 12:40

No, I wouldn't want her life, exactly. But as someone with certain similarities--having given up a higher profile career as a lawyer and prosecutor to follow my husband, but also getting the chance to do work I truly love into the bargain--don't you think she's managing to enjoy herself? I hope so.

She seems to have a happy, if somewhat compromised, personal life, and she has at least four years in a position to achieve so many of what I imagine to be her non-personal goals, like making life better for military families. I'd imagine she's just getting started on her own agenda.

Yes, she's given up her own working life. But it's a trade-off--and that life itself entailed trade-offs, as everyone knows. You do not get to be a full time working person and an always-present parent and a full-time activist. You don't even get to be both an astronaut and a pop singer. We think about it, and we make choices, and we do what we can with them. I bet Michelle Obama is determined to make the most of this, just as she seems to make the most of every opportunity that comes her way--and that resilience, that openness to doing what comes next without a lot of durm und strung over what's had to be put aside--that's a life I do want.

Venus Envy

Comments

تحميل برامج تحميل برنامج

By: beckham_250 | Sun, 09/20/2009 - 07:05

its joke

By: khemso | Fri, 08/28/2009 - 09:36

I thought I didn't want to be Michelle... now I'm not so sure

By: Meredith Simons | Wed, 06/10/2009 - 14:18

Would I want to be first

By: Phenicks | Tue, 06/09/2009 - 14:04

Don't You Think Michelle Obama is Having Fun?

By: KJ Dell Antonia | Tue, 06/09/2009 - 12:40

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