Uma, Put Down the Pacifier and Step Away

Uma Thurman in "Motherhood: The Movie"

More than half of adult women are mothers. It's not a lifestyle. It's not a trend. It's just one of those things—you know, continuation of the species and all that. A biological urge complicated by societal factors that has been, not incidentally, the subject of great art and literature over the past few centuries. Into that pantheon comes Motherhood: The Movie, promoted by a trailer full of worn tropes and painful moments. Want to silence Uma Thurman, the ruthless killer bride of Kill Bill, Vols. 1 and 2? Stick a binkie in her mouth. Motherhood, the Great Infantilizer. How did we come to this?

Thurman doesn't look particularly pacified in in the poster for her latest movie, but the film seems to have un-womaned her, putting her in the part of Manhattan mom, overwhelmed by the effort of caring for a pair of small children. Having kids doesn't necessarily have to reduce your life to nothing but dishes and alternate-side parking (even the Bride of Bill ends up with a 4-year-old), but you wouldn't know it from what's on view so far of Motherhood: The Movie.

The trailer plays like a He's Just Not That Into You-esque excuse to compile every clever moment from every good hipster mother rant of the last five years. But though the plot is vague, one thing is clear: Becoming a mother has sapped Uma Thurman of her energy, her sexuality, and her ability to get dressed before she leaves the house in the morning. She's surrounded by mothers who think they're better than she is, which really means they aren't, because they spend all their time competing while poor Uma is just busy parenting. There's a touch of mommy wars, a touch of gender wars, and an overall whiff of powerless incompetence, all in two short minutes. Didn't women once complain that the media depicted us as Superwoman, able to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and so forth? I suspect this character is a vegetarian.

I won't wholly indict the movie without seeing it, but so far Motherhood: The Movie makes me want to disown the word "mother" entirely. Can we not manage to procreate without losing the rest of our identity in the process?

Tags: motherhood, movies, parenting

KJ Dell'Antonia Former Manhattan lawyer and prosecutor, Xxtra Small reviewer, parent of four. Lover of books and bacon.

Comments

Take A Chill Pill

By: DuckworkerMike | Thu, 10/22/2009 - 22:54

KJD'A needs to relax. Only Andy Warhol could make a film of Life As A Parent in real time, and good lord, what a snooze that would be. One of the things parents like about movies about being parents is that those of we can look at not Uma Thurman and laugh, but at ourselves. Twenty-three years ago I was sitting in a wine specialty shop, talking about the history of Pommery Champagne and how rotten it was that it wasn't (then) being imported into the US, when my first son, sitting on my hip, peed through his diaper, his diaper cover, his onesie, his shirt, his pants, my shirt, my t-shirt, my pants and my underwear, creating in one moment an entire load of laundry. I told the vino purveyor that I had loved chatting, but I had a sudden urge to go home and do laundry. He understood and we both had a good laugh as I made my endampened exit. Four sons and more than two decades later, I am certainly happy not to be so harried and frazzled as I was in the days when my boyos were 10, 5, almost 3 and brand new, but it doesn't mean I can't laugh at some of the less flattering moments... I actually find it odd that in these supposedly even *more* liberated times, there aren't more Das like myself, who stay at home minding the chaos-- and managing the dashes through whatever weather there is to get the kid to mom's breast on time as well-- but my sons know that doing the "mothering" thing is just as valuable and fun and challenging and miserable as the "work" thing, and that the Mom can do either and the Da can do either. And both can laugh at the challenges of the mothering work. And great jumping cats, if we couldn't laugh we'd die, so good thing we did laugh. Lighten up, KJ, and laugh your heart out...