Killing Me Softee

Sympathy for the anti-Mr. Softee movement.

At the risk of sounding like a helicopter parent (which believe me, I'm nowhere near; my parenting style hovers closer to the "Whoops, I clean forgot I had a child, where'd she go again?" end of the spectrum), can I just say that I have some sympathy for the anti-Mr. Softee camp? Granted, this is a trivial issue on which to waste much of one's ire, and some of the parents quoted in the Times article about banning the trucks sound like overly invested nuts. But the fact is, the omnipresence of those trucks is a curse for parents at playgrounds. Even if you don't give in to your child's begging, the arrival of Mr. Softee inevitably turns a fun playground excursion into a half-hour or more of whining and fighting about ice cream, which is followed either by the resentful buying of ice cream, or a tearful dragging home. Then there's that aggravating song (which ice cream trucks are now legally banned from playing while parked, not that all of them abide by this rule.)

But the truck is only one symptom of a larger problem our culture has with the constant availability of junk food. To have a small child in 2009 is to navigate a world in which you're constantly barraged by sugary and fatty treats, whether at school (I hear from friends who are public-school teachers that there are many teachers who offer doughnuts and cookies as rewards for good behavior, and scoff in the teachers' lounge at anyone who disapproves) or at birthday parties (where it's no longer enough just to serve cake and ice cream; there have to be giant bowls of candy on every surface, and "goody bags" to take home and fight about some more). Julia asks if just keeping the trucks out of sight will help kids to eat better, and the answer is a partial "yes"; many studies have shown that kids' food choices improve when the availability of junk food decreases even slightly. This isn't just yuppie handwringing, either; as the Times article points out, one neighborhood that's banned the trucks is Chicago's 18th Ward, which is largely black and working-class (and thus likely to be a neighborhood with fewer healthy eating options).

All that said, it's hot outside in August, and kids lining up at ice-cream trucks are hella cute. I like the approach of the Tacoma, Wash. vendor quoted in the piece, who stops at a park, sells ice cream until the line that first forms is gone, then drives away. Take a hint from your song's seldom-heard lyrics, Mr. Softee: If you've been staking out my playground for an hour, it's time to go ding-a-ling down the street.

Photograph by Getty Images.

Comments

There are real worries out there and this isn't one of them

By: tim maguire | Fri, 08/21/2009 - 12:49

I'm new to this site and am not familiar with the term "helicopter parent", but I can guess.

The ice cream man is hardly some new shoal the parent of 2009 has to navigate. My neighborhood had one in the mid-70's and if you'll recall, Fonzie worked as an ice cream man for a day or two. They've been around for a long time, probably as long as refrigerated cars and, before that, city street corners had old men selling Italian Ices.

Complaining about this as some new trial you have to face as a parent(and by you I mean the universal "you," not you specifically) suggests more than anything that you are not up to the standards of your parent's generation. Or their parents, or theirs.

So why are you buying the ice cream?

By: AnaMen | Thu, 08/20/2009 - 22:34

"Even if you don't give in to your child's begging, the arrival of Mr. Softee inevitably turns a fun playground excursion into a half-hour or more of whining and fighting about ice cream, which is followed either by the resentful buying of ice cream, or a tearful dragging home." So even if you don't give in, you still buy the ice cream?
Why not just say "no"? If you don't want your kid to have something, don't buy it. They might kick up a fuss the first few times you try this, but eventually, if you are consistent, it will actually mean something. Try this phrase: "If you ask again, we will leave the park"; then do it.
The world does not need to bend to your child -- he or she may learn to live within it.

"It's easier not to go than

By: Bo | Thu, 08/20/2009 - 19:42

"It's easier not to go than to have a nice family outing ruined."

If you let your "nice family outing" be ruined by a kid wanting ice cream, you're doing a lousy job as a parent.

If only kids could be raised

By: Bo | Thu, 08/20/2009 - 19:41

If only kids could be raised in little hothouses. What's the big deal with telling a kid "no"? So what if the kid has a tantrum? I think parents who freak out if little Mykalea or Hazel or Conner throws a fit are parents who only want the fun parts.

Sometimes kids throw a fit. The kids will live, the parents will live, and the guy who drives the ice cream truck can go on earning a living.

Or else he can just get a good job with the government. Or go on welfare.

What better time...

By: slfoster01 | Thu, 08/20/2009 - 10:16

I would think that letting the kids have the ice cream while at the park is the best time. They've run around and worked up a (grubby) sweat, they take a breather by getting a treat, then run around some more to work off the sugar rush and calories- calories in, calories out. I did that with my 4 boys, and enjoyed the treat with them.

Take them home all worn out and in a pleasant mood because they had fun and a treat; clean them up, then set them down with a quiet activity. Nirvana!

Parks are PUBLIC, not COMMERCIAL spaces

By: TxLiberal | Thu, 08/20/2009 - 05:26

I am a junk food loving, size 24W, 250 lb red meat eating red stater. I say more power to the people who want to fight the annoying jingles and the pester power. I love taking our son to our local park in Arlington TX, and the ice cream truck is part of the ritual. On some days. For 15 minutes or so. If I had to listen to that jingle outside my own open windows, all day, on a hot day, I'd go crazy. Isn't it just noise pollution? (A store on a corner doesn't follow you around with a brass band.)

What's wrong with wanting to have green spaces serve their intended purpose, not a commercial one? And if the ice cream truck stayed at OUR park, which we as members of the public OWN, for hours and hours, I'd consider that a nuisance worth legislating about. I wonder why some people think it's a form of self-discipline, that these parents ought to undertake, to submit to every form of commercial encroachment on public life. These "helicopter" parents (and I think when your children are small you are supposed to supervise them, so can we drop that stupid phrase which originally described over-anxious parents of college students) are trying to control the public spaces they pay for and need. It's not like they are complaining about the over-commercialization of the local shopping mall.

Wait, where did someone ask for "moms" to comment?

By: Dana Stevens | Wed, 08/19/2009 - 21:57

I tried not to use that word in the piece and to say "parent" instead as I also find it annoying when the default parent is assumed to be female. Anyway, Ssakamoto, I love your anecdote about being haunted by the ice cream truck in NYC, and your precise calculation of how many minutes per hour were consumed by arguments about ice cream. You have to respect the persistence of children, reviving these unsuccessful stratagems day after day after day...

@ssakamoto

By: JJL | Wed, 08/19/2009 - 21:00

Right on, ssakamoto. You said it.

You ask for mom's to comment,

By: ssakamoto | Wed, 08/19/2009 - 20:43

You ask for mom's to comment, which bugs me because I was a stay at home dad. Dad's who raise their kids have to deal with this too.

I lived in NYC, and it sucked when the ice cream truck came. It arrived every half hour, there were a rotating bunch of them that came all day long. I only let my son have one a day, but every time a truck came, I had to tell him no over and over until he finally gave up. We had a 5-10 minute fight every half hour about ice cream. It was a real pain in the ass.

Kids do not want to eat carrots and celery when everyone else is eating an artificial color horror like spongebob on a stick. That's just how it is. My life, and my son's life, would have been much easier if we didn't have the ice cream patrol every 30 minutes.

Folks who think we're weenies can complain all they want. But I handled it, my kid didn't get lots of sugar, and it still sucked. Take a look around at the fatness in the US, and think about what is going on in our culture when we market crap food to children all day long. There are consequences to this.

"Even if you don't give in to

By: LadyR | Wed, 08/19/2009 - 16:17

"Even if you don't give in to your child's begging, the arrival of Mr. Softee inevitably turns a fun playground excursion into a half-hour or more of whining and fighting about ice cream, which is followed either by the resentful buying of ice cream, or a tearful dragging home."

It's so true! Except it's only ice cream on a summer afternoon of playing outdoors.. as long as you practice healthy eating habbits with your child as part of your lifestyle I don't see how an ice cream truck can pose such a threat..