In Defense of a More Stringent Use of the Word "Douchebag"
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There’s a funny spoof video up on Boing Boing framed as a PSA of sorts in support of douchebag solidarity. It features a handful of self-pegged douchebags, one pumping iron at the gym, another riffing for the amusement of drink-dangling babes at a bar, all waxing on about the persecution of the douches: “For too long you’ve told us to shut the fuck up ... that people who are different from me matter.” But because I evidently cannot take a joke (and this may in fact make me a douchebag according to the video’s standards) my first thought was: This is a grossly incorrect use of the word “douchebag.”
Some of the guys in the video—the weight lifter, the greasy skater kid at the bar, the gangsta-style, oversized-jersey-wearing dude in the garage—they’re just simply not douchebags. They may be dumbshits or pricks, but I’ve always been under the impression that a douchebag is a very specific sub-segment of the asshole population (I am so tempted to draw you a Venn diagram here), and that the douchebag label necessitates a middle-class or higher wealth level, a gross adherence to fratty mainstream tastes (think popped collars and bars in midtown Manhattan), and a rather pretentious pride in that specific way of life. In a word: Dane Cook. He looks like the homecoming king and has the comedic sensibility of the bro-iest bro (A Dane Cook joke: “We should just have an orgy right here, right now. Let's just fucking turn off the lights and everybody just feeeeeeel around. Let's just turn off the lights and play a game called Who's In My Mouth?”) He is the human embodiment of the douchebag concept. An overeager skater kid is not.
I ran into this same problem back in August when GQ named Brown University their douchiest school. Now Brown is a lot of things (Disclosure: It’s my alma mater), but the one thing it’s not is douchey. It’s trust-fund hippie-ish and masturbatorily idealist, but there is not one popped collar, managerial-aspiring, Dane-Cook-loving student to be found.
This is all just to say: Let us keep our insults semantically pure please!
Comments
Dane Cook and Raquel Houghton
By: Fet N | Thu, 11/12/2009 - 01:24
Dane Cook got the talent of making others happy. He really has a sense of humor entertains every viewer. But, when it comes to relationship with Raquel Houghton could he still used it? Oh well – another person gets famous for not doing anything. Everyone is searching for Raquel Houghton. Raquel Houghton is a singer (but singers are a dime a dozen – you want one that can use instruments too) but really all she's getting famous for is the fact that she is (or was, no one knows) dating Dane Cook. Therefore, a billion people have been searching for Raquel Houghton pictures because they don't have anything better to do. She did audition for American Idol, but got nowhere. A bunch of people are still going to learn more about Raquel Houghton.
My wife has a penchant for calling people dickbags...
By: JTHC75 | Thu, 11/05/2009 - 19:10
But I find there's inherent ambiguity in the term. Is it a bag for a dick? Is it a bag of dicks? A scrotal sack?
That's why I revert to a more precise insult: "Go eat a bag of dicks!"
I vote Cornell for douchiest
By: jeffdo | Thu, 11/05/2009 - 09:33
I vote Cornell for douchiest Ivy
You're killin' me!
By: ktpeterson | Wed, 11/04/2009 - 23:09
I love this so much! Although, I disagree with the limits extended by the author. I think that the liberal use of "Douche" or "Douchebag" is almost always acceptable. Could it be possible that maybe the definition of the word might be, in its way, a bit of a colloquialism? Maybe what constitutes a douche here in Chicago might just be dumb ass in Seattle? Sigh, what do I know... I'm just a douchebaguette!
Douche and Body Spray...
By: Jessica Lambertson | Wed, 11/04/2009 - 20:15
I've always catered to the belief that a douche bag has some intimate connection with Axe body spray (be it an avid user, an actor/character in a commercial, or even just someone in need of some Axe).
I may use the term douche bag a bit too liberally, though. I knew the term was catching too much speed when my mother started using the word. I personally think it's a great substitute to more vulgar or offensive terms, plus it rolls of your tongue so easily!
Apparently I'm the prude in the room: Is no one else...
By: grammarrodeoqueen | Wed, 11/04/2009 - 20:08
...slightly offended by the word "douchebag" and all "douche-" variations? To me it's always seemed as misogynist as the "p" word (I'd rather not be ejected by the comment police).I'm under 30, and usually the last one arguing for propriety and/or political correctness, so I was hoping for some sort of backup here. ;)
Seconded
By: carrot | Wed, 11/04/2009 - 17:41
Thirded, fourthed, whatever. Lauren Bans is awesome, and if she doesn't make the Venn diagram... I will. SOMEBODY has to!
#1 school has to be...
By: damone5000 | Wed, 11/04/2009 - 16:40
Villanova. I went there from 03-06 and people actually wore the double and triple popped collar shirts. 8:00 am class, no problem, all the guys were decked out and it almost seemed like they might be wearing make-up. Not in an effeminate way, but in a "I'm super clean shaven, eyebrow plucked state with expensive moisturizer and lip gloss" kind of way. Also should b noted that most douchebags are italian, and from the northeast.
GQ ranking
By: Fitzpatrick | Wed, 11/04/2009 - 08:56
To be fair, the only reason that Brown came in 1st is so that Duke would not be #1 in anything.
When it comes to Duke, just remember that the "K" is pronounced "sh".
gotcha
By: teaspoon | Wed, 11/04/2009 - 08:51
The frat boys on the RV in Borat = douches. Shame on me for my blatant misuse of this insult! :)