A Bachelor Goes Limp

Last night, on the latest episode of The Bachelorette, the inevitable happened: One of the contestants—lovelorn, earnest, ready-to-drop-on-one-knee Ed—was given an opportunity to have sex with a girl he is “crazy about” in a hotel room, tricked out with roses, body oil, and ... a crew, cameras, and millions watching at home. He failed to get hard. How has this not happened before?

In this instance, erectile dysfunction (what a lame joke that the guy’s name is Ed), seems to be an indication of a higher brain function than is typical of Bachelorette contestants. As Ed said, in classically opaque, euphemistic Bachelor-speak, “I’m having a hard time adjusting to everything. There are too many external things going on right now that are really affecting the way that I’m behaving.” The kind of guy who doesn’t like his foreplay on camera is not necessarily a dud, but Ed’s going have to field questions about his skittish penis for the rest of his 15 minutes nonetheless. At least the Bachelorette, Jillian, seemed to understand these were unusually stressful circumstances and opted to keep Ed around (making him one of the final two suitors) despite the fact that he could not “show her” how much he cared about her.

Longtime watchers of the series know that the most twisted part of any season usually comes when it’s time for the overnight dates. By this point, the contestants have been culled down to three or four, and it’s sexy time. No really, it’s time to have sex. The Bachelor or Bachelorette spends all day with one contestant, and then, after a romantic dinner, invites them to sleep over. What goes on in the room well ... we can only guess. After some smooching, the camera always fades away, leaving the two contestants in a cinch, usually on a bed covered in petals.

On the one hand, the shagging that likely occurs behind closed doors is appropriate. Sex is an important thing to have done with a person you are conceivably about to marry. On the other, it makes very stark what is super creepy about the show. One dude, or one chick, bangs four people, one night after the other, to see which one he/she loves the most. Those four people, who seem to have genuine feelings for the bachelor/bachelorette, know that the object of their affection is getting nookie from the competition. Do they decide to be the one who says, “Eh, all I know for sure is you could dump me on national TV tomorrow, so maybe, let’s wait until the cameras are gone for good?” Are you kidding? That’s not how you win this contest. Unless Ed gets the girl next week.

Tags: erectile dysfunction, Reality TV, sex, The Bachelorette

Willa Paskin Writer, pop culture junkie

Comments

You bring up a good point

By: the23rdelf | Wed, 07/15/2009 - 11:17

However, this is exactly why I don't watch reality TV. It's not OK (to me) to do all this sleeping around with many different people at the same time before you get married. And I'm not even all that old-fashioned! Maybe this shortened simultaneous dating schedule is OK with the contestants, but I don't want to validate it to myself or anyone else by tuning in.

bachelorette = yikes

By: P Starling | Wed, 07/15/2009 - 05:54

This is the single most distasteful factor of an already-gross process: choosing a spouse on national TV. I understand it's a ratings thing and all, and that my notions of personal dignity are completely irrelevant to anyone who's already chosen to be part of a circus like this, but can't they have sex after they get "engaged" and decide then whether or not they're compatible? It's not as if they get hauled up in front of a judge with a marriage license right away. Willa, I agree with you, but I'm taking it further: shagging each competitor in a sort of "taste test" (and then evaluating them--euphemistically!--on national TV) is just scary.

Sex = important before marriage?

By: dutchqueen | Wed, 07/15/2009 - 04:28

I like the general tone of the post, but question why it is so important that sex be a component of choosing a marriage partner. I know that is considered old-fashioned and backwards not to have sex before marriage, but is it impossible to decide who a suitable partner is without it? I would disagree. I have known plenty of couples (including myself) who haven't had sex before saying their vows and it didn't make or break the marriage as they were sure this was the person they wanted to marry.
I don't want to discount the importance of sex in a relationship, but I'm willing to bet that sex too soon in a relationship does more harm then good in many instances. Looking at the experiences of family and friends, it seem to me sex too soon can give a false sense of intimacy which makes a partnership seem like a good idea but ends up with break up in the end due to incompatiblity in many other ares which, with some restraint, would most likely have come out early without the binding factor of sex.
So, going back to the original subject: "Do they decide to be the one who says, “Eh, all I know for sure is you could dump me on national TV tomorrow, so maybe, let’s wait until the cameras are gone for good?” Are you kidding? That’s not how you win this contest. Unless Ed gets the girl next week." Here's hoping!