“That Whole Sparking Thing”
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Hanna and Meghan, I guess that’s your answer to your debate about the pitfalls of the boring old “companionate marriage.” To hear Mark Sanford tell it, one day you’re home digging holes in the yard, the next you’re talking to some woman “about how she should get back with her husband for her two boys,” and then you’re swapping emails with her, and then, well ... “that whole sparking thing.”
This was truly one of the weirdest orations ever delivered, a sort of free-range ramble about everything from the breathtaking beauty of the Appalachian Trial (where he wasn’t) to his “fiduciary responsibilities” to his (apparently companionate) family. Hanna’s quite right that everything about the beloved mistress in Buenos Aires screams Passion! Love! Real thing! Yet when he talked about his wife, Jenny, Sanford mainly described her as a faithful workhorse and dutiful former campaign manager. Anyone wondering why Jenny wasn’t standing by her man today should probably consider that if he talks about her like she’s a sweat sock in public, things can’t be all that "sparky" back home.
Photograph of Mark Sanford by Davis Turner/Getty Images.
Dahlia Lithwick Slate contributor, mom, wife, currently drinking coffee
Comments
Also, weird half-comment on feminism there
By: Neffs | Thu, 06/25/2009 - 09:04
Did anybody else catch that aside about his wife or someone telling him that while his mother was sweet, it was 'sad she had never accomplished anything of significance' and he disagreed with them, that she had given unconditional love and that was significant. I mean, he was using this again to awkwardly talk sweet to the girlfriend--by mentioning both his wife and his mother. (Seriously, Mark, there are people who will help you with The Game.) But I almost wished he'd talked more about that, because to me the righties are so focused on women in secondary roles that I wished he'd taken the time to flesh out his own opinions a bit. Not that he was thinking of my needs while he wrote this.
Sparking at home
By: Californio | Wed, 06/24/2009 - 21:39
With all due respect, Does anyone doubt this is a real problem for men and women? Have a long-time spouse ratchet up their efforts to look better (and assuming not ignoring the spouse) - and even rational spouses will start to "wonder" what is going on. Fail to try to improve? "You take me for granted! You've stopped trying!" As if the Gov. Sanford story is not bad enough on its own merits - now the commentators can have at it while desparately trying to hide their own baggage on this subject. Perhaps I am mistaken and everyone else is in a long-term commited relationship with no doubts, disappointments, let-downs, tragedies, only triumphs and of course not a whisper of doubt about their image. Indeed, I am sure all eager to comment about Gov. Sanford exist in the enviable place of god-like adoration from their long-term relationship partner.
No! (someone may respond) It is about respect! Well... you can certainly respect the ol' gym socks for their utility - but they usually fail to get you hot & bothered. Perhaps we all expect too much from each other and seeing others fail makes us feel better without actually having to improve ourselves.