Everyone I talk to these days is either going through some topsy turvy, Saturn Return-influenced life change or is just happy to remain gainfully employed. We've all cut back (or at least pretended to cut back) on the luxuries: dinners out, vacations to exotic locales like Jones Beach, wash-n-fold service at the laundromat. But in the Olsen tenement decorating continues apace. Or at a snail's pace, I should say.

Since The Big Crash I've been trying to stay all Zen and eschew attachments (swing-arm lamps, flea market art), BUT I JUST CAN'T. I need stuff. I can't sleep on a tatami mat and wear the same smock every single day. And I would give my eye teeth for an ice machine (pictured) ... oh, never to handle another ice tray, what bliss! After all, I'm from the South where ice is a right and not a privilege. So what's the one household/decorating luxury you aspire to, revised for third quarter 2009? Will you splurge on _________ now that the Dow's up almost 3000 points since March?

You know what, I am gonna buy that pair of swing-arms. Mainly because they plug in and I can take them with me to the halfway house if necessary, but I also need the light. ConEdison is my new luxury brand!

Tags: aspirational decorating, ice makers, luxuries, status

I've been reading my past few posts and I sound a little Didactotron Decorator. Just give us some cheap, stylish stuff for a hot minute, you ask? Gladly!

Yesterday I went to Ikea for work, and while sadly some of the best finds ($6 terra cotta pots and 49-cent cloth napkins with a simple red stripe) aren't on the website, there's still a ton of Swedish style to behold. I don't necessarily want to know how they charge so little, but I could definitely live with one of each of these treasures:

Husvik table lamp (pictured), $59.99. Like a silver-toned grasshopper, this lamp would lighten up an English pedestal desk or look great on a bedside table next to a swing-arm light with a pleated silk shade. Reminds me of Artemide but for a fraction of the price.

Melbu bed frame, $349. The picture doesn't tell the story here at all: This low-slung, woven (wicker?) bed looks like Tom Scheerer in the Bahamas. The cocoa brown color is pleasing in person, but I could also see it painted white or a bright color.

Ekby Bjarnum shelf brackets, $15/pair. The Swedish nephew of P.T. Barnum, Ekby ... kidding! I'm obsessed with these stainless brackets, so much so that I have four in my kitchen. They're sleek and sturdy but also sort of disappear.

Karsltad sectional sofa, $999. One of our clients bought this corner sofa for a poolhouse, and in context it might as well be from Dune. Yes, she has bleached pine paneling and ebonized floors—definitely proves Mugatu's old adage "Get your floors and walls right and everything else will fall into place." But the Karlstad's boxy-yet-refined proportions make it one of Ikea's greatest hits, if not the Greatest. I would still paint the legs black because that yellow wood is just fug.

Oh, and don't forget the meatballs and cinnamon rolls.

Tags: bargains, beds, Ikea, lighting, shelving, sofas, sweden

A kind reader recently hit on a topic I've been bouncing around in my noggin, contemporary oriental rugs:

Dear Nick,

Is it possible to DIY-distress an oriental rug? I desperately want the look of an antique frayed old rug. I bought a new Turkestan eight years ago at of those import stores where you haggle, and I love the design but it still looks brand new, except for the wine stains! Can I run over it with the car or lawnmower or something without ruining it?

Thank you for considering this question,

Amanda

Great question and here's my answer: BY ALL MEANS, YES! Truth is I'm just not always a fan of brand-new Persian carpets, whether purchased at Istanbul's Grand Bazaar or Restoration Hardware. They hardly ever have the depth or warmth of old rugs, no matter how faithful the design is to traditional examples. But before I advise Amanda to go all Double Dare on her Turkestan, let's ask one important question:

How much did you originally pay at the Haggle Emporium? If it's in the thousands, you might want to look into re-selling the rug and try buying an antique or semi-antique carpet you like more. I'm told this is a very 'soft' market right now ... I've seen 50 to 75-year-old rugs (Moroccans, Oushaks and the like) go for a couple hundred bucks at local auction houses. Check online catalogs first.

But if the Young Turk was a bargain, time to go cahrazee! Seriously, these rugs are made to withstand centuries of abuse and only look better for it. Break out that lawnmower, set of Wahl clippers, or Volvo and go to town. I certainly remember taking a razor to my Gap denim (circa 1994) in search of a Dylan McKay look, and rugs can be 'distressed' the same way. Plus it's therapeutic. Just do a little Google Image search first and pick a few threadbare carpets for inspiration ... think even and natural. Ralph Lauren's Rugby Store on University Place (brilliant branding once again) has patchwork ancient oriental carpets running wall-to-wall, and that's another viable look ... cut them apart and have a pro sew up the seams or simply duct tape from underneath. It's sturdier than you think! If faded's the desired look why not leave it out on the lawn for a good month? If the colors don't exactly jibe with your palette, shop for fabric dyes at JoAnn's or Michaels and practice spot-dyeing the pattern on a corner portion. Sounds hatefully tedious, but this is how the pros restore an antique carpet, and you can tweak your recent purchase to make it look like it came from Chatsworth and not the clearance aisle at Pottery Barn.

Tags: antique carpets, DIY, floors, Restoration Hardware, rugs

Sort of like glass condos in Williamsburg or the proverbial bunny rabbit, trends in design tend to proliferate until government intervention is necessary. What starts as Richard Meier gorge ends up Toll Brothers fug, but enough with my real estate analogy; let's look at three decorating trends that refuse to die, and why.

1. Ikat. At some point in the early- to mid-2000s, every person of means in the United States took a little trip to the Silk Road and brought back at least one throw pillow. Or so Elle Decor would have us believe. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the look of this patterned weave (real ikats are made in places like Uzbekistan on looms only 16-20 inches wide), but at what point does exotic get downright ordinary? Oh right, when it lands on the shores of West Elm. Verdict: still cool and graphic (oof, there's one for Decorno's word funeral) if it's the real woven deal, but ikat-printed linens and canvases never get the pattern right and just look bouge-y.

2. Chinoiserie. I was recently quoted in the People Magazine Style Watch basically dissing Asian-inspired motifs ... and I've got more venom to spew! Yes, I still own a little white porcelain pagoda piggy bank similar to the one above that needs to painted. Yes, I still love scenic chinoiserie wallpaper even though it costs my entire salary. And Chinese Chippendale fretwork. But Nicky's peepers is just tired of seein' em all the dang time—can't we design-pillage another country? (Sorry, Morocco, you're it.) A particularly savvy anonymous commenter on my other blog once noted: "One day, we'll discover that the Chinese have a weirdly overstyled, vaguely condescending decorative arts tradition called Americanoiserie." BINGO. Verdict: still chic in moderation ... one or two Asian pieces, yes. Entire pagoda-themed rooms, no.

Lastly,

3. Chevrons, I wish I knew how to quit you! Seriously, I know I should be over the zigzag by now, but it's just so hard to mess up. Ex-Domino-er Michelle Adams started her own line of fabrics called Rubie Green, and this "East Village" chevron still looks fresh to me—what a smartly designed website, by the way. For my current painting projects I might leave out The White Stripes and alternate black with tan on a coffee table table top, or use slightly different tonal shades of the same color, like lavender, on a wood floor. Or vary the widths of the zigs and the zags. Verdict: I'm still filling up at the chevron station. (Sorry! It's Friday.)

Tags: chevrons, chinoiserie, Design, ikat, trends

Let's have a little primal scream/group therapy session today and talk about our biggest furniture regrets. Is there an item in your house or apartment that makes you wince every time you enter the room? But you still can't bear to put it out on the street? We've all been there, including certain decorators who should know WAY better. I'll start:

1. Years ago I bought the *perfect* wing chair at the flea market—sure it already needed re-upholstery, but what potential! I paid for delivery (extra thanks to four flights of stairs), got it in the door, and almost burst into tears. Oh, it would look perfect ... in my sister's old dollhouse. This thing was Smurf-sized. Forget big and English and robust, he wimped out even next to my diminutive French repro sofa. I snarled at it for three months then donated to a friend, important scale lesson learned.

Or so I thought.

2. Fast forward to The Great eBay Mirrored Side Table Debacle of 2009. Sure, this pair of mirrored cubes is the perfect size for my shoebox bedroom! I can tell from the single photo with a white background sans context clues, no need to measure! Plus who needs drawers at the bedside? Not me. And it'll fit in the back of my friend's Toyota Camry no sweat—I mean, it's only mirror, not heavy. IDIOT. I trekked out to the eBay warehouse in Brooklyn on the coldest day of the year to realize I'd basically purchased two shiny boulders. The rest of the story involves a man with a van but no cell phone, 150 EXTRA bucks, bloody fingers and a near death experience on my staircase. I curse them every night before I say my prayers, and would put them out on the street except I'd probably have to take a sledgehammer to the mirror first, which means 7 more years of bad luck.

WAAAAH!

Please, PLEASE tell me you can top this sob story and join me in the Hall of Decorating Shame. Sharing is caring, after all.

Tags: decorating shame, eBay, fugly, mistakes, scale

The sun is finally shining in New York City, and I'm determined to keep my Florida tan. I can hear the derm warriors out there saying a suntan is your skin's cry for help, but trust me, no one wants to see this all pasty-like.

First, not to split hairs but I think it's actually "chaise longue" (long chair) and not "lounge." Oh, how the French must hate us for bastardizing their beautiful language! But you do lounge on it. Anyway.

Outdoor furniture can be outrageously expensive! I remember one client of ours calling to complain: "It's a little frightening when the pool furniture costs more than the pool." Touche. So for those of you lucky enough to have outdoor space (backyard? terrace? alleyway?), I've found my three favorite lounge chairs for under $350. What's your sunning style?

My current fave has to be this wood-slat single lounger from West Elm in white (pictured, $349 each). It has a sort of modern Adirondack feeling and the most adorable matching wooden wheels. Definitely needs a cushion, though.

Does wicker make you think of MeeMaw's screened porch? I hope not, because this HomeDecorators chaise has major sculptural appeal. Not adjustable, but the cheapest of the bunch at $179. I could totally see four wicker loungers lined up with simple black Sunbrella cushions and modern black metal side tables in between.

Finally, CB2's bask sun lounger in metal and plastic-coated polymesh. I'm sure they have something similarly sleek around the pool at New York's new, Oscar Niemeyer-esque Standard Hotel. (Though it seems like black mesh would get scorching hot by mid-afternoon?) Hot or not, $299 apiece.

Mahogany #8, I'm coming for ya!

Tags: CB2, chaise longues, HomeDecorators, lounging, sunshine, West Elm

Piping, also known as "welt," is the strip of fabric-covered cord often set into the seams of upholstery, pillows, even clothing. As decorating notions go it probably lands on the traditional end of the spectrum, if only because sofas and cushions don't really need to be piped. In fact most modern pieces sport the no-welt look which I actually find quite chic in certain settings. But it's hard to resist adding an extra level of detail to solid-colored upholstery: a thin line of black or red on a beige sofa, no matter what style, can make basic quite brilliant. So why is that next to impossible to achieve on a budget?

I suppose because it's just hard to mass-produce. Calico Corners will let you pipe in any color of the rainbow, but their sofas hover around $2k BEFORE the cost of fabric, which you supply. No thanks. Beginning in September Ballard Designs will offer slipcovers with contrast cream piping, but only in 5 colors and only for their Baldwin sofa. Harumph. This chocolate brown and cream Carolyn sofa (pictured; sadly out of stock at Overstock.com) looks sort of Barbara Barry-on-the-cheap for a shocking $489.99. But I want something with more pizzazz.

Still share my pipe dream? Do you have a worn out old sofa with good bones? Why not call your local upholsterer, who can likely recover or slipcover granny's divan for less than anything at Calico or Ballard. Tell him/her you want THIN contrast welt (no wider than a quarter inch) on all seams. Solid linens or canvases shouldn't run you more than 20 bucks a yard, sometimes much less. Check out this slipcovered fantasy living room Mugatu (my boss for those just tuning in) decorated for his parents. I can guarantee none of the pieces match under their new clothes, but the white with black welt ties the entire room together.

Final notes:

1. I don't like contrast piping on patterned pieces. Just too busy; go for self-welt instead.

2. Many upholsterers create a double row of matching piping to serve as gimp, or the trim that hides nails and staples around the edges of framed pieces (I'm not making up the terms, I promise!). It's a personal preference but I think this also looks too commercial. Go for a braided gimp in a solid color for fancier furniture or just a single row of French grosgrain ribbon for simple stuff.

Is everyone getting excited for the holiday weekend? What, you don't get Friday off? How positively American! Kidding—quickie post here today because I'm currently vacationing through the 4th of July in our family homestead, a red-white-and-blue Craftsman bungalow. It's inspired me to make this palette cool again and not so Country Living. Here are my picks to help you declare your decorating independence (from corniness):

Stars: What about a chic five-point paper lantern in red? At 24 inches wide, it would make a liberating statement in a powder room. I also love these mirrored stars Ballard Designs (go for the 30-incher at $199).

Stripes: Cotton dhurries in stripes and chevrons are still as popular as apple pie from the McDonald's drive-through. I like Ballard's red and white rug because it works indoors and out and won't fade ("these colors don't run!"). $699 for an 8'x11'. Oh and there's a charm to this plaid mat from Ikea, practically free at $6.99.

Fireworks: I'm desperate to find Hinson and Company's fabulous "Fireworks" wallpaper online, but this Lulu DK for Matouk bedding (pictured) shares the same exuberance. Spendy, yes, but how can you put a price on decorating freedom?!

Classic Kitsch: Sorry, I really like these flag-embroidered napkins from Wisteria ($39 for a set of 4). So pretty on a solid blue tablecloth with a gigantic red carnation centerpiece. And what about old wooden-toofed George Washington propped on a bookcase? I cannot tell a lie: I like a plaster mini-bust.

Happy 4th, y'all!

Tags: 4th of July, Ballard Designs, Country Living, George Washington, Ikea, patriotic decorating